Marty Aspin

Mar 262014

1996: Joins Whites with Phil & Marty after being transferred along with the Yak & Marty from the Mighty Swindon Swans (Flinders Uni 5-a-side champs 1994-96). Dyes hair white and stars in Cult movie by Cult Director and all round nice guy Richie Coburn.

1997-2001: Decides that he has run out of Adelaide chicks and must meet more international ladies. Takes particular liking to the Scandy flavour. Resides in the UK and USA and after being involved with rogue trader Mr Nick ???? he flees (Christopher Skase style) back to Adelaide.

2002-03: Takes up role as donkey left back reluctantly, but shines as midfield wingman, providing excellent support on and off the field. Proud to be a white and is almost always last man standing at Mojos or after game bevies.

Simon Capp: The first Australian ever to be kicked out of the only Irish pub in Spain, on St Patrick’s Day (1998).

“Wow, geez thats a nice fence” – Marty, Graeme and Steve Saf on discovery of Cappy’s girlfriend patting the dog over the fence at Saf’s 21st birthday

Mar 262014

From humble beginnings and a bad hair cut which seems to be synonymous with the Capp lads, Tim graced the Whites field in style. Faster, fitter and more skillful than his older brother, Tim showed early promise playing on the Wing for the B’s in the late 90’s. Tim also starred in the Whites Video with the now famous volley, which the camera person only just managed to capture as it flashed into the back of the net.

Alas, Tim’s love of Cars, Women and the Northern Territory took him north and a spell away from soccer. When returning with photos of the rock and an extra chin he played few games like the former sprightly young lad did in his debut season.

Now Tim resides in the UK where he is working on his tan in a London pub.

Mar 262014

Club Veteran, loud mouth, Crows Magazine subscriber and original trouble maker on the side-line, Graeme or Gra-heemie joined the club when the whites were the greys. The Team may have faded in colour, but this white is no fading wall flower. Thought to be sponsored by Coopers, he can be often seen on the side line having a coldie and cheering on the whites while following his footy teams on the ‘tranny’.

Greame is an easily recognisable character, not just for his non-slender, non-athletic physique, but, as any blind man will contest, because he never shuts up. Saturday afternoon wouldn’t be the same if the man in black wasn’t copping a spray. Greame holds the honour of receiving a card from the sideline for his efforts – it is a miracle that the whites aren’t involved in more scraps.

Despite taking almost a decade to score for the whites (insert sexual innuendo), Graeme holds many honours, one being the position of Vice Captain of the Drinking XI; a title well deserved by many fine wingman performances, one particular at the stag with those 2 very close girl friends.

“A truly modest individual who thinks with the extra 30kg he is carrying deserves a position in the A’s line up and writes his own profile”

That’s it.

“He’s the worst referee in the league” – Graeme every Saturday

Profile 2: by Graeme Jackson (2001)

A coach who can only be described as calm, rational and easy going. Loves referees and strikers who shoot from impossible angles instead of squaring the ball. Loves Wez to back heel the ball and try impossible flicks. Also loves hearing people whinge about John, as he is not a friend of his, or a person willing to take on responsibility when all some can do is complain.

As a player, was a silkily skilled left sided midfielder until he sacrificed his career for the club. Scored a brilliant goal in one of two on field appearances this year. Is looking to play and not coach next year and so should add some much needed class, glamour and an attitude which is all in the spirit of the game.

Mar 262014

1997: Turned up to a trial game only to be handed the whistle and look after the game. Never to avoid a spot of controversy awarded a few penalties. A week later was given chance to shine, only to be involved in scrap with then Goal Keeper Tim. Was later to cement position alongside brother and sparring partner Marty.

1998: Starred in Cult film “Whites”, then went on to Star, Write, Direct, Produce, Edit and distribute own version of sexy football Whites style with the production of “Uni Whites defeating Mercedes the Green Monsters of football” Cup Semi final.

1999: Decided to transfer to Leytonstone Lions in the “Broncs” of East London. Resided in Cappy’s “Crack Shack” and made his impressions on the UK.

2000-01: Returned to the Whites with new definitions of the 4-4-2 formation and was awarded a position in the A’s line up along side the Green Lantern. Picked up Best player for the B’s sometime, but we were all too pissed at the presentation night to remember when.

2002: Returned to the UK to search for new opportunities on the Transfer market, although I’m not sure many football agents reside at the Zoo Bar in Leicester Square.

2003: Will be coming home to rejoin the Whites.

“Beer?” – Perth

“Handball!” – Cappy

“awax reports loveboat company en route, primaries goose and captain tatham catching z’s in minging hostel acomm. EDN @ 1022hours gmt” – Perth

(and what does this mean??) – Perth