Simon Capp

Mar 262014

Those famous Sideburns were first seen in the white back in 1996. His chunky physique and amazing pace might sometimes hide the fact that the kid can actually play. It took the coaching staff a while to notice that, but once he finally got his A’s chance, he took to it like an alcoholic to our famous pale ale.

In his first season in the As he won a club award, but then tragedy. The Yak was ruled out with a knee injury, he was devastated. If you recall one of his drunken quotes “I’m only happy when playing soccer or having sex.” He had better been getting loads of sex, cause he was ruled out of the 90 minute version.

Yak is the captain of the Whites Drinking XI, and is the ultimate club man. During his injury period he could be seen on the sidelines with a carton of the good stuff cheering the boys on.

He finally left on his long awaited trip OS, but will be returning in June. Apparently he has shed the kilos, is fit and raring to go!!

“Steve Saf mastered the 5 day drinking week while at uni, which all started at the big ticket on Wednesday” – Marty

“Carton of Pale thanks” – Yak every friday night

“Why buy a six pack, when you can get a carton”
Yak learning about economies of scale at Flinders Uni 1995

“Out of Context” Quote of the Millenium: 2-5-04
“I like penises. Penises is good.” – Steve Safralidis


Mar 262014

Interview with goalkeeping ace: Matthew Milosevic

Glamour Weekly: So how did you end up at the Uni Whites – Home of the Glamour?

Matt Milosevic: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking wow, “you’re ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.”

GW: And how did you find yourself playing in goals?

MM: I wasn’t like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere’s a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who’s a hero. The music he’s created over the years, I don’t really listen to it, but the fact that he’s making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I’m selling? No. Do I know what I’m doing today? No. But I’m here, and I’m gonna give it my best shot.

GW: Outside of the beautiful game, what’s an average Friday night for you?

MM: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, “Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman”.

GW: What’s been your most challenging game for the whites?

MM: So I’m rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I’ll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize “Holy shit, Hansel, haven’t you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn’t some of this maybe be in your head?”

GW: Final question…

MM: Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people’s lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way?’

Mar 262014

The self-styled ‘Guvnor’ began his career at Cumberland but, in a way that would become familiar with the fans of the clubs he has played for, left the club under a controversy.

Governor The biggest name in Collegiate football, Bushe’s main attributes are passing, in open play and especially from free-kicks, a superb range of short-passing, vision, composure and a dogged determination which will always threaten to spill over. Disciplinary problems dogged the early stages of Bushe’s career at “the glamour” but he seems to have matured along with his success.

Early in 2001 things turned ugly when the association fined him for his involvement in the “hard men of football video, along with fellow glamour men.. Wes “Chocolate” Reid and the Bushby brothers (Loc and Juice).

Earmarked early in his career, (by the association referee’s), as a hot headed tackler and general midfield hard nut. He was building a reputation for boiling over and making Dave Samson look like a pussy. Controversy and yellow/red cards followed.

During this first fiery season (2000-01), he was already being groomed to eventually succeed the great Armin in the team and perhaps as captain, though his off-field indiscretions were making such an elevation highly unlikely. It came to a head in the summer of 2001, when he was involved in drunken banter at Heaven with a cocktail waiter named “Barry”. Only days later, after an incident involving a bouncer at the British Tavern in North Adelaide, Bushe, along with team-mate Joe “98” Windows and hard nut Simon Ward, he was charged with bringing the game into disrepute.

Told by club administrators, get clean, get off the booze, and clean up your act, Bushe went underground and spent the entire 2001-02 season in hiding from his adoring fans, teammates, and lady friends. Rumours were ripe, was the promising career already over?

Bushe spent 10 months in the Adelaide hills, in lock down – at a Betty Craig clinic fighting his demons.

Pre-Season 2002-03, Dan Bushe returned to the Collegiate league, and to public life. He had found religion, “the bible of the White”, he was clean, and he had Betty Craig to thank. As part of the healing process Dan had written a book (titled: Addicted), documenting his first year at “the glamour”, where he discussed his love for the whites, the girls, the booze and the glamour.

The road to the 02/03 Collegiate League final was paved by the silky passing, and his brilliant partnership with funky Armin. In a brilliant season, the reformed youngster was able to win back the fans and the players. In an amazing run, the former hard man of the league, went the entire season with out even a booking.

It had fellow teammates joking: “He attacks the ball a lot harder than he used to…”

Mar 262014

Qué un jugador, en el campo y del campo. El nos recuerda de otro Diego brillante Pero su lejos el campo donde él hace su impacto repleto El agrega un pedacito bienvenido de don al beber once congrats.

Diego’s Quotes:

“Are there any good looking girls at Mojos?”

“She is hot Simon, not like you”

“Simon is a player”

Followed by 11 people laughing for 20 minutes

“Maybe Simon isn’t a player”

“I’ve just been pulling girls… but I had no luck”

“Are you sure she wasn’t looking at me?”

Mar 262014

The season 2004 has seen the return of the journey man, the American Jule. Four year resident of Adelaide Uni, he has returned to finish his residency in the B’s midfield.

Combination of irresistible charm and a little natural talent earned him many accolades in his first two years in the Stadium de Glamour. But it was the disappearing act of 2003 that really had me scratching my head. It was the winter of 2003 when the knife was really twisted.

Anzac Day Weekend 2003, cold wet windy. Saturday was round one of the cup, I’m not saying that Julian cost the B’s the Cup, but, well yeah, I am saying that. A ragtag bunch they were, barely making 11 on the pitch, including the Horse marshalling from central midfield. And then there was Wes’ famous dummy spit. But it didn’t have to be that way, because off in the distance, wandered a young forgotten American.

The brilliant combative tearaway winger answered the call simply. I’m here to drink! It was like the first US invasion of Iraq: quick, painless. In fact I’m over it, I’d forgot it even happened. So the young yank, stood on the sidelines, got smashed and laughed. While the B’s cup dream was destroyed, not by a private school, but by an apathetical American. Too heartless to care!

I guess you can understand a lot about the Jules, when you know about his tragic childhood. Those long summer days living under the pier on Pismo Beach California. Spending his days avoiding the draft, smoking the produce and generally looking for his way out. Three years ago he was granted refugee status by the Australian government and with this he had gained freedom from the oppression of his youth. Like many a legend the story from here is a bit grey, but the journey from the Beach to the Stadium de White was complete. And the legend of the Jule had begun.

Mar 262014

2002: To the big mans credit he won the B’s top club man, in his first season at the whites. And then failed to turn up to the biggest whites do of the season, his presentation. And the winner of the top club man for 2002, Andrew Foley…

He constantly demands that he be put into the midfield, “sometimes you’ve got to leave your man and follow the ball”. Makes sense, I guess… especially when playing stopper!! Bringing to the Bs a brilliant skill set, his is a mix of the hard hitting AFL and the silky skills of the Primera Liga. Its an interesting mix not seen in the Whites since that famous man Shane Caverny.

2003: A turbulent start to the season, sees Psycho scoring two own goals, and giving away a couple of penalties. Andy has already picked up a number of votes for Player of the Season, and is the rock that the mighty Bs are building there success around.

Andy has done a sterling job over the past two years, but will always be remembered for those extra special foreign superstars he brings into the club:

  • David: the guy who broke Nick’s leg
  • Goalie: the superstar goalie who stayed for one training session. I question Big Dan’s involvement.
  • Dan: the colombian playmaker, who was in town for 4 weeks, trained once and played 3 games.
  • French Guy: who was more interested in taking photos of Adelaide than doing the business.
  • Diego: the guy John stole from the Bs.


“You’re giving me a heart attack” – Capp

“I’m having a stroke, call 911” – Capp

“That’s how you do it” – Capp after clearing the ball passed the Whites’ goals, and not into them

“Play the ball, not the man” – our opposition