Simon “Mr Sleepy” Small

Posted on 26 March, 2014 in Player Profiles by yak

Adelaide’s newest heart throb & one of this years entrants in Bachelor Of The Year, Simon has also decided to spend some of his time and energy on the football field, in order to bring back some sex appeal, charm, wit and of course glamour to the currently flagging Uni Whites.

Drafted from the highly competitive Unley Indoor leagues, Uni White management thought Simon was worth the huge transfer fee, massive salary, gigantic entourage, and celebrity hissy fits, just to get a few thousand more “bum’s on seats” and particularly as a way of attracting more of the ‘female audience’ …

The gamble seems to have paid dividends though, with merchandise sales going through the roof, and demand far out-stripping supply in the first quarter of 2007. While the “Small Boy’s” range of underwear for the SNAG has been a huge hit, especially in the tough to crack Asian market.

On the field though, the jury is still out… Simon needs to take his football to the next level, or risk being traded to the US along with Becks, Romario, Gary Linnaker, London Bridge and a string of other expensive old ornaments…

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