Mar 262014

The best British football export to our fair continent since Peter Beardsley played two matches in the domestic league, this tall wunderkind from Leeds has adoring Whites fans everywhere holding their breath when he’s on the pitch.

Self-critical of his own skills and one of the tallest players in the team, he naturally rates heading the ball as one of the weaker aspects of his game.

Like a plucky George Best he has also toyed with the odd liver or kidney transplant, but has so far been unable to get a week off from the Drinking XI.

Hard to understand, because he pronounces his words correctly, Ryan mostly communicates through an interpreter which has only added to his already growing legendary status in the Whites Hall of Fame.

The Next Generation of Glory is upon us.

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