Round 5: C’s vs Unley
Unley 3 – 1 Uni Whites
Having been unceremoniously dumped out the Collegiate Cup the week before by Unley in what can only be described as a woeful and inept performance, the Whites made the short trip from Stade Blanc to the meadow that Unley claim to be a pitch.
With Club CEO ‘Levandowski’ and Cam H off looking at retirement homes, the ‘Gaffer’ spent the week juggling his resources (and balls?) whilst working on a system to stop the rot and make the Whites a competitive outfit. Selection headaches followed with the withdrawal of wing wizard Dan Gartner, who was contractually bound to tour with his One Direction Tribute band. Thankfully with the return of the previously cup tied players and the emergence of the A’s cup winning hero John George aka Doctor John George aka John George Squared the Whites (on paper at least going on previous weeks) were able to field a strong side.
The ‘Gaffer’ opted for a four, four, two formation and deployed Nick ‘Snake hips’ Whiteside as a sweeper alongside our South African import Kev ‘Oscar’ Bock. Yours truly formed the last line of defence with Ian Routledge and Dawid at left and right back. A solid midfield four of Manny, Wez, Leachy (debut) and Fairuz offered plenty of attacking options to supplement the forward two of Alex and John George aka Doctor John George aka John George Squared .
Trying to lift the boys following a six nil thumping by the same lot the week before seemed a tad tricky until the Unley match report was read. Unley were kind enough to describe us a bunch of See You Next Tuesdays whilst waxing lyrical about how easy the win had been and double figures should be on the cards. It was just what was needed to fire the boys up and an extremely determined Whites took to the field.
Cheered on by the D’s (who despite losing narrowly showed great fighting spirit) the Whites matched Unley in the early exchanges. Quickly the Whites settled into a good passing rhythm knocking the ball about comfortably. Dawid quickly showed his pace and quick feet by turning the Unley number 14 inside out on several occasions before taking off down the right flank. As an appreciation of such flair and said skill the Unley player rewarded Dawid with a two footed studs up challenge that left him crumpled on the turf.
Our referee for the day, who appeared to have the back bone a Jellyfish and from now on will be referred to as said Jellyfish, was quick to wag his finger at the Unley player, ‘tut’ loudly a couple of times and frightened the life out of the player by telling him he was now being watched. The leg end that is Steve Bresolin obviously though that this stern talking too was unjust then spent the rest of the half verbally bonding with said mentioned number 14 from the side lines. I hope that it is the start of a beautiful loving relationship.
Dawid soldiered on and with Unley exerting some pressure our Jellyfish for the day saw fit to award Unley a penalty for deliberate handball, despite being completely unsighted and with ball striking the player in the chest. One nil to Unley quickly became two when having cleared a corner to the edge of the box the Whites were slow to close down the Unley Mr. Bean look alike. Despite stepping on the ball and getting it stuck under his feet Mr. Bean managed to deploy his pitching wedge and lofted the ball into the top right hand corner despite the best efforts of Snake Hips (grow some hair you bald T##T) on the line.
The Whites continued to press and John George aka Doctor John George aka John George Squared managed to get of a couple of efforts on goal that forced the previously bored looking Unley keeper in action. Despite these chances Unley managed to catch the Whites on the break and with here left winger / whinger arriving unmarked six yards out a third goal look on the cards. Said winger / whinger met the ball firmly with his head and sent back across the keeper trying to wrong foot him. Adjusting his feet quickly said keeper rolled back the years to fling himself away to his left and stick out a big hand. The rest is history (with many of the 100’s of Whites fans comparing the current C’s Keeper to the previous greats Banks, Bresolin and Horse).
Two nil down at half time but definitely not out of it. The ‘Gaffer’ made a few changes with Wez, who appeared to need a nap and Dawid who had been assaulted coming off. Matt G slotted in at right back with Simon partnering Leachy in the centre of midfield. The second half saw the Whites in the ascendancy. From a corner that was half cleared the ball was played back into the Unley box. Leachy (does he ever smile the ‘Gaffer’ asks) got the flick on and Alex was on hand to bury the header. Game on. Unley upped the tempo and the level of physicality but the Whites matched it and at times bettered it.
Unfortunately the Jellyfish decided that he had not had enough impact on the game already. Following a ‘love in’ between Alex and an Unley player who went down like he had just been slotted by a sniper, our resident Jellyfish saw what was no more than rough ‘fore play’ as something completely different and sent Alex off. In the ensuing ruckus that followed it was explained to me by said Jellyfish that it was ‘A dewiberate attack’. Hang on if that was deliberate, what was the assault in the first half and if he wants to go on about pre-meditated ‘dewiberate’ attacks then what happened at Pearl Harbour falls into that category.
Anyhow Unley continued to try and bully and out muscle our merry band of White but credit where credits due each and every man stood their ground. Unfortunately Unley sneaked a third goal after a corner was only half cleared and that’s how it finished. Three one but not disgraced.
If the C’s can keep the core of this team together then it wont be long before Dan G and his tribute band can belt out that famous Whites song .
Again written by Matt with Bocky editing